Đề Writing Task 2 và bài mẫu có phân tích ngày 14 tháng 3
IELTS WRITING TASK 2:
Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion
I/ Steps to do:
Step 1: Analyzing the question: 3 minutes
+ Objects: childcare
+ Argument: in this writing, the topic demands writers to evaluate the advantages of two childcare methods for working parents, namely keeping children taken care of by other family members at home and sending children to childcare centres, and express their own viewpoints.
+ Type of question “discuss both views and give your own opinion”: You are required to analyze the benefits of both sides objectively first and then give your own ideas, which can be your support for one side, the combination of both sides or whether the chosen method should depend on specific situations. In the essay below, the writing will support “childcare by grandparents”.
Step 2: Outline: 5 minutes
Below are the basic structure of an outline and some suggested ideas for this topic.
- Introduction:
– Hook sentence: general idea about the topic: modern busy lifestyle, full-time working parents, the need to rely on someone else for childcare
– Thesis statement: parents have two choices of childcare methods: grandparents and childcare centres
– Answer question: both methods have benefits, give your own opinion: support for childcare by grandparents
In this sentence, you are not required to say and explain reasons in details.
- Body: 2-3 paragraphs, in this writing, there are 3 paragraphs.
In each paragraph, we have to write a topic sentence and then supporting ideas for the topic sentence. Normally, you write only 2 to 3 ideas as we need to make them clear and deep-rooted. It is necessary to add example of facts and figure, public figure, historical events…
P1: Benefits of childcare centres
-Professional organizations -> well-trained babysitters, doctors and nurses -> appropriate and timely care for children
-Many other children -> chances to interact and socialize -> develop language and communication skills
– Surrounding friends -> no feeling of loneliness
P2: Benefits of childcare by grandparents
–Children are protected from violence & possible harms
-Grandparents have genuine love for their own grandchildren àprovide extra care
-Children value family moments -> good future parents
- Conclusion:
Restate the ideas and express your personal opinion
In this writing, benefits of both childcare methods are discussed and personal support is given to childcare by grandparents
Step 3: Writing: 30-35 minutes
In current hectic society, many parents have been pursuing full-time employment with heavy workload, leaving them little time to take care of their offsprings. As a result, they have to rely on either other nurseries for childcare. While sending children to childcare centres have remarkable benefits, I am convinced that having young kids by grandparents should be prioritized.
On the one hand, childcare services are popular among working parents for several reasons. Firstly, as nurseries are professional childcare organizations, they have a sufficient number of from babysitters to nurses and doctors, who can offer appropriate and timely care for children. For example, children are easily found to suffer from illness or injury by experienced staff and are then given immediate medical treatment. Moreover, children can interact and socialize with other peers in childcare centres on a daily basis, which may enhance not only their language and communication skills but also their sense of community. Children are also hardly prone to the feeling of loneliness thanks to the presence of numerous surrounding friends.
On the other hand, I believe that allowing grandparents to look after their grandchildren at home is a better option. The first advantage is that children are placed under complete protection from violence and possible harms from the outside environment to fully ensure their physical and mental health. Children in domestic upbringing, for instance, are untouched by contagious infections and bullying and even the risk of maltreatment. Secondly, grandparents tend to provide extra care and education for their grandchildren since they are family members with genuine and unconditional love for descendants, which may not be available in the childcare industry. Furthermore, it is very likely that young children nurtured by grandparents throughout their childhood will appreciate family togetherness and bonding in their adulthood, increasing their probability of becoming caring and family-oriented parents later.
In conclusion, although nurseries are undeniably a convenient alternative for busy parents due to their distinctive positive aspects, I would strongly recommend that children be raised by grandparents at home. Only when grandparents are in a distant location or unable to do childcare for a long period of time should young children be sent to childcare centres.
Bài phân tích chi tiết cho Đề Writing Task 2 và bài mẫu có phân tích ngày 14 tháng 3 năm 2015
Teacher’s comments:
Good points:
– Structure: good with 3 main parts, good illustration
– Ideas: clear, relevant and adequate for both sides, clear opinion throughout the essay and it is easy to understand the ideas.
– Vocabulary: OK, good use of adverbs and adjectives, conjunctions, synonyms
– Sentence structures: good
+ Contrasting structures: While, Although
+ Passive voice
+ Causative form
+ Relative clause
+ It is + adj + that + S + V + O
+ Recommend that + S + V bare
+ Inversion
+ Comparison
Improvements:
– Too long (369 words)
-Should add conditional sentence
– More academic words
ACADEMIC VOCABULARY
| No | Words | Word type | Meaning |
| 1 | Prioritize | Verb | Ưu tiên |
| 2 | Domestic upbringing | Noun | Sự nuôi dưỡng trong nhà |
| 3 | Contagious infections | Noun | Bệnh truyền nhiễm |
| 4 | Maltreatment | Noun | Sự ngược đãi |
| 5 | Genuine | Adjective | Chân thật |
| 6 | Distinctive | Adjective | Nổi bật, đặc trưng |
