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Hướng dẫn viết IELTS Writing task 1 có ví dụ và phân tích p2

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Hướng dẫn viết IELTS Writing task 1 có ví dụ và phân tích p2 với chuỗi bài này tuy là súc tích và bài ví dụ cũng ở band điểm chưa cao nhưng sẽ giúp được nhiều bạn có thêm nguồn tài liệu tham khảo cũng như tiếp cận với IELTS Writing task 1 một cách dễ dàng hơn.

Example 2

Level: 3.5 to 4.5

This graph is a line graph provide us information about U.S energy Consumption from 1980 to 2030. From 1980 to 1985,Hydropower, Nuclear, Solar Wind was less used while Petrol and Gas was the most popular. From 1990 to 2010 there was some fluctuation in the using rate of every type of energy except Petrol and Oil. From 2010 to 2030 there will have been an dramatic increase in the using rate of every type of energy. As the world population is booming, people need more energy to survive. Therefore, each energy type using rate will keep rising. But still, as known from decades ago, Petrol and Oil still the most used energy and is expected to reach 47 Quadrillion Units in the year 2030.

In conclusion, energy is crucial to human’s life so the using consumption will never stop rising. Especailly new types of energy coal or nuclear power.

(150 words)

Remark:

Good points:

  • The write know what information should be included in writing opening, body
  • The structure used are in IELTS form: S + V +adv

Improvement:

  • Inappropriate lead-in (opening – red word): grammar mistake in opening: “provide” à “providing”
  • Limited range of structure. You can see in the sample there are mostly simple sentences (brown): S + V + adv
  • Basic grammar errors (blue):

+ Verb in plural and singular form: was/were

+ Article: a/an

  • Spelling: remember to check the spelling of the words before finishing to write, more than 3 misspelling will lead to deduction in ILETS writing task 1 mark. In this case, we have to change “especailly” –> “especially”
  • Not include significant details of given information: lack of figure to illustrate the trend
  • Inappropriate format: remember to separate opening and body by jumping to the next row and make the beginning letter of the sentence to be in capital.

Level: 5.0 to 6.0

Given is the line graph illustrating the US energy consumption by fuel from 1980 to 2030. The figures show an unstable using rate but overall, there is a marked increase in the US energy consumption.

In the first period, from 1980 to 1985, it is obvious from the given information that in 1980, Petrol and Gas was the most popular type of energy with 35 Quadrillion units while natural gas, coal and hydro power account for 20,15 and 4 quadrillion units respectively. On the contrary, nuclear power and solar wind energy were not used at that time.

The second period witnessed some dramatically changes in energy using rate. Although it fluctuated for a couple of years, the consumption rate of petro and oil has climbed steadily since 1985. Changes of natural gas and coal are clear in 2015. As people started using more coal, the consumption rate jumps. However, natural gas using rate remains stable from 2015.

Nuclear power were introduced in 1985 since then, the implement of it has spread in a wide range. As a result, its consumption level has not stop rising ever since. Solar wind and Hydro power are in the same situation too.

In conclusion, as human technology depends largely on sources of power, US energy consumption by fuel will be unlikely to drop in the future.

(222 words)

Remark

Good points:

  • The writer know how to write opening:
  • Academic opening (red): good structure “Given is/are + (name of the chart) + V-ing (function) + Object + Place/Time”
  • Presents an overview with information appropriately selected (yellow)
  • Body: Use a mix of simple and complex sentence: (orange)
  • Good structure of IELTS writing: Appropriate format with 3 parts: opening, body, conclusion
  • Acceptable amount of vocabulary and structure
  • Sufficient amount of words required (>150 words)
  • Transitional words: (green) the writing ideas are connected and easy for readers to follow

Improvement:

  • Comparison: the writing quite lack of comparison structure
  • There are some mistakes in grammar and language used, in fact, it is acceptable to get a mistake but you should limit the number of committing in order not to be reduced the mark: (Blue)

+ tobe: “were” –> “was”

Above 6.5

The graph shows consumption of energy in the U.S. since 1980 with projections through 2030.
The historical trends showed Petrol and Oil as the major sources of fuel, rising from 35 quadrillion (35q) units used in 1980 to 42q in 2012. Despite some fluctuation between 1980 and 1995, there was a steady increase, which is expected to continue, reaching 47q in 2030.

Consumption of energy from natural gas and coal followed a similar pattern over the period. From 20q and 15q respectively in 1980, gas showed an initial fall and coal saw a gradual increase, with the two fuels equal between 1985 and 1990. Consumption has fluctuated since 1990 but both now provide 24q. Coal consumption is projected to rise to 31q in 2030, whereas after 2014, natural gas is forecast to remain stable at 25q.

In 1980, in the group of renewable source, energy from solar/wind, nuclear, and hydropower were the least-used, with only 4q. Nuclear has risen by 3q, and solar/wind by 2. Since 2005, hydropower has fallen back to the 1980 figure. It is expected to remain approximately constant through 2030, while the others are projected to rise gradually after 2025.

Overall, fossil fuels are predicted to remain the chief energy source for the US, with a little bit of hydroelectric, nuclear and a smidgen of renewable sources like wind and solar.

(215 words)

Good points:

  • Academic opening (red)
  • Presents an overview with information appropriately selected (yellow), in this case, it is not in the position of opening but the conclusion. It is acceptable in writing task 1 IELTS
  • Appropriate format with 3 parts: opening, body, conclusion
  • Use comparison sentence: (orange)
  • Transitional words: (green) the writing ideas are connected and easy for readers to follow
  • The writer knows how to divide the lines into layers to analyze: the two higher should be come together and the remaining others are in the same group. It is easier to see the relationship in the figures of two layers and the relationship among lines in each layer:
  • Layer 1: petrol and oil
  • Layer 2: gas, coal
  • Layer 3: nuclear, solar, hydroenergy.

Improvement:

  • The writer may use wider range of other uncommon vocabulary and transitional words to raise the score
  • It is acceptable to get a mistake but you should limit the number of committing in order not to be reduced the mark

Nguồn sưu tầm.

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